Live in Truth; Refuse to Cooperate with Lies
Persons who “identify” as gay, or lesbian, or transexual, or any other sexual term are actually lying about themselves, because, in reality, they are much more than that or any identity. We must protest by not repeating these lies, because they diminish such persons and can lead to discrimination or rejection by some and even segregation from the greater community.
Cardinal Ratzinger, in audience with Pope St. John Paul II taught this principle clearly:
... The Church provides a badly needed context for the care of the human person when she refuses to consider the person as a "heterosexual" or a "homosexual" and insists that every person has a fundamental Identity: the creature of God, and by grace, his child and heir to eternal life.
If we are to live in truth in this culture of lies, resist conforming in a way that exposes the falacies. Instead of the term gay or lesbian, use the phrase:
A person who has taken on a gay or lesbian identity or a gay or lesbian lifestyle.
Always begin with the person, the fundamental reality, his or her true identity. This is a reminder to everyone that no matter how a person refers to himself or herself, he or she is a manifestation of God's love and much, much more than a sexualized identity. This reminds the person, and others to help recognize the reality and magnificence of the whole person, rather than just as a limited, chosen sexual identity.
The Harm of the Gay Identity
In addition to reducing a person to merely a sexual identity, the terms gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual are all associated with sexual sin.
For those who are conscious of the sin, associated with the identity, the terms gaty, lesbian, or bissexual can be like a sign saying, "Kick me; I'm a sinner." In these cases the identity can obscure the inviolable dignity of the person and may become an occasion of sin for others who may not respond charitably to the person. It is also important to recognized that some people who take on sexual identities choose to live chaste lives. When the identity becomes a distraction, it is helpful and charitable to presume chastity to avoid becoming judgmental.
It is therefore charitable to separate the person from the sin and sinful identity by using the term "a person who has taken on a gay or lesbian identity or lifestyle." This phrase reminds the person with same-sex attraction that he or she is more than that identity, and it reminds the person who uses the term as well. As Cardinal Ratzinger said in the context of avoiding the use of sexual identities for persons:
"Every one living on the face of the earth has personal problems and difficulties, … challenges to growth, strengths, talents and gifts as well."