Ditch “One Man, One Woman”

The term “one man, one woman” can be tricky. If used to describe marriage, “one man, one woman marriage” implies that there are different kind of marriage. Untrue because marriage is a reality in God’s plan for creation that simply is: it can only be recognized but never changed. The statement “marriage can only be between one man and one woman,” expressed a truth, but it comes across to others as an opinion, a belief or an ideology. That statement does not answer the most important question: “Why?”

Many are willing to use the term in defense of marriage reality, but most avoid it because they know it runs the risk of provoking personal attacks and prejudicial judgments that can have social or career consequences.

Can the reality of marriage be expressed with more clarity and without the risk of conflict? Do you want to be a marriage protagonist or a marriage antagonist?

With the acceptance of no-fault divorce and the big lie that as long as the adults are happy the kids will be fine, marriage has become separated from children and family. In the minds of the majority, marriage is merely for adult happiness and public recognition of a committed relationship. This false understanding is the root of the problem and the source of misunderstanding and conflict. The incorrect understanding of marriage is also causing young people to marry for the wrong reason or not to marry at all, even when they have children.

Rebuilding a marriage culture must start with reintroducing its reality to our children, family members and friends. Don’t presume that they have the same understanding of marriage reality that you have.

Marriage can’t be defined by its qualifications, i.e. one man, one woman.  Recapturing the fullness of marriage, reuniting it with children and family, can only be done by focusing on what it does, which everyone knows is true.

In reality, marriage is the institution that unites children with their mother and father. It not only unites a man and woman with each other, but unites them with any children born from their union.

Since marriage has been redefined by eliminating “one man and one woman” and replacing it with “two people,” it is fair to ask, “Do we need an institution that unites children with their mother and father?” That question already makes “one man, one woman” obvious without using the term that is provocative to some. Because the question puts marriage in a new context, it provokes contemplation about the reality of marriage rather than potentially causing conflict.

See more Quick Reflections on Reality​